Broken
by fallrighthere
Summary: AU. After Mandy Milkovich dies, Mickey is left alone and broken Ian must help him pick up the pieces. This deals with depression, suicide, and abuse, so if any of these topics are triggering please do not read. I will be continuing this fanfiction at archiveofourown /works/778858/chapters/1466173
1. Chapter 1

"Fuck! Mandy! What the hell is wrong with you?" There was water and broken glass all over the kitchen floor after Mandy had dropped her drink. His sister had visibly flinched at his words and he would have noticed that if he wasn't so busy trying to not cut his hand open as he picked up the pieces. "Seriously, you need to be more careful, I don't need you hurting yourself, ok?" She had flinched again, and this time Mickey had seen it. "Oh c'mon Mands, you know that's not what I meant!" She rolled her eyes and walked past him, making sure to hit him hard in the shoulder as she passed, then made an extra point of slamming her bedroom door shut behind her.

He knew he should have checked on her but she was mad and Mickey was tired. So, instead he got up, wrote a quick note telling Mandy where he would be if she came out of her room, and left the house. The cold air nipped at Mickey's skin making him wish he had grabbed his coat before he left but he was lazy and decided that maybe the cold air would help clear his head. After his parents had died, Mandy shut down, leaving Mickey to take care of her. He wasn't the oldest child but after his Mom and Dad's funeral his bothers had got the fuck out-of-town to fuck knows where. He and his brothers had never been close; it was always Mandy and himself against the world in his house, so he didn't mind that they had fucked off. But, on days like this, he couldn't help but be mad at them for just leaving.

He had always been a big stress-smoker so Mickey headed to the closest convenience store, the Kash'N'Grab, and grabbed what he needed. He didn't have to pay, he had worked at the store since his parents passed, having to pay for bills and shit, so they would just take it out of his pay-check. The owner, Linda, smiled as he walked by showing her the smokes. After wandering the streets for a while Mickey headed back home. He had smoked half his pack of cigarettes and had noticeably calmed down, now he just hoped Mandy had as well. Taking in a deep breath he re-entered their house.

Mickey was always good at hiding emotions. He was good at building walls and not letting anyone in. Mickey was good at pretending. He never showed weakness because it was just too dangerous in this neighbourhood, but at that moment Mickey had never felt so weak before in his life. "Fuck! Mandy!" His knees gave out and he fell to the ground, "What the hell is wrong with you?" His breath caught in his throat as everything started to become a blur, his whole world closing in on him. He passed out, hand stretched out cradling his broken sister's. Who was a lot more broken then he ever thought she could be. He knew he should have checked on her but she was mad and Mickey was tired.

* * *

The first time Ian saw it he never thought much of it, had blamed it on smoking too much weed. But the second time he saw the quick flash of ice blue eyes and raven hair he began to worry. Everywhere he went he felt like he was being watched, and some days he would see those blue eyes and black hair and it would send shivers down his spine, but he had never seen it for more than a few seconds. Ian had felt like he was going crazy, and maybe he was. But the fifth time he saw it, things had gone a lot differently.

He had decided to walk home alone from school that day, which had clearly been the red head's first mistake. The all too familiar chill he had become accustomed to travelled up his spine and he knew she was there with him.

"Who are you?" he spoke quietly, scared she would run away at anything higher than a whisper. She just gave him a sad smile, not uttering a word, and then she started to walk away. When he had made no move to start walking, she stopped and stared at him expectantly waiting for him to follow her. So he did.

Ian matched her steps exactly, staying as close as possible, afraid she would disappear like so many times before. Despite the close distance he didn't reach out and touch her, he just followed her until she stopped in front of a grave.

"Mandy Milkovich?" He looked over at the girl for a clue about why she was showing him this grave. And then he saw her nod and a tear escape her eye as she quickly wiped it away. "Are..you..her?" He knew he wasn't going to get a straight answer from the girl but he didn't need one. "I can't believe this, why are you-" But before he could get the question out she was gone and he was alone once again. He stayed at that grave for a while after her disappearance, wishing he had known what had happened to this girl or what she had wanted with him. He stayed there until he could no longer stand it and began to walk home. He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts he didn't even notice the boy walk past him with ice blue eyes and raven hair, wearing that same sad smile.


	2. Chapter 2

Ian hadn't missed a curfew in a long time, but he had stayed at the cemetery late that night and had been so wrapped up in his own thoughts he hadn't checked the time. His house came into his line of vision and he let out a sigh of relief, he was only fifteen minutes late.

He stood on the porch debating on whether or not he should just sleep out here for the night instead of risking waking anyone up but the cold air nipped at the back of his neck and he thought otherwise. With a slight shake to the hand Ian slowly opened the front door to avoid any excessive noise, but it didn't matter, his father was waiting for him.

"Do you realize what time it is?" His father, Frank, slurred out in an angry voice. Ian knew better to not mistake this as his father being concerned; he had learnt that the hard way.

"Yes, I lost track of time. I'm sorry I kept you up."

"Damn right you're sorry!" His father was drunk so his moves were sloppy but they were fast. Ian had been expecting the first blow, but it was the second one that caught him off guard. His dad had knocked the wind out of him which sent him falling to the ground.

They had been in the living room so as Ian fell he hit his head against the side of the coffee table. His vision blurred from the impact and he could feel himself slipping from consciousness. The last thing he saw before he slipped away was a streak of raven hair whip past him, and then all he saw was nothing at all.

* * *

His head hurt, and his body burned with a numbing pain. "Hello? Ian?" Someone gently poked his face trying to get him to stir but he was determined to keep his eyes shut for a little bit longer, hoping it would drive some of the pain away. "Oh, Fuck it" he heard and then he was slapped, _hard_

"What the Fuck Debbie?!" But when Ian opened his eyes it wasn't Debbie, and he wasn't in his room. Remembering what happened he reached up to the back of his head and felt a wetness of what must be his own blood, some of it had already dried into his hair.

The red-head looked around the room and saw Frank lying on the ground, unconscious. "What… happened?"

"He was going to kill you! I had to do something" She confessed, looking slightly embarrassed.

"He's not…dead? Is he…?"

"No, no, just unconscious, for now. But, you need to get out of here Ian, it isn't safe."

"I have nowhere else to go." He looked to the ground, he didn't know many other people besides his family, had never trusted anyone enough to let them get close to him.

"I know where you can go, alright? You will be safe there, but right now you need to focus on getting your shit and getting the fuck out of here, ok?" He nodded his head, and quickly ran to his room grabbing a bag and shoving as much clothes and belongings as he could find.

He quickly scribbled _I'm safe, and I'm sorry. _on a piece of paper and put it where he knows for a fact his brother would find it. As Ian made his way downstairs, Mandy was waiting by the door, not so patiently.

Frank stirred with Ian's entrance to the room making him freeze to the spot. Luckily Mandy had done some significant damage causing Frank a great amount of difficulty and hopefully a lot of pain to sit up. He saw Ian's bag and a look of fury crossed his face.

"Don't think you can just leave here and you'll be safe!" Ian walked over to Mandy, " I'll find you, wherever you are! I'll find you and I'll kill you myself" Frank spat at him, just as Ian left the house and his life behind, forever.

* * *

Mandy held Ian's hand tight. This time she seemed to be the one afraid that the other would slip away and vanish. They walked around like that for a while, they never spoke to one another, and as the odd person passed by Mandy would vanish from Ian's vision but he could still feel the tight grip she had on his hand and that made him smile.

No one had ever cared for Ian like this before. He had always been the outcast in the house, his father had hated him the most and Ian had no idea why, but the rest of the family knew not to get in Frank's path so they pushed him aside as well. Ian guessed he could never blame his family for what they did. He knew his brothers and sisters cared about him and loved him, they were just scared, they were all just scared.

Ian was the first to speak, asking where they were headed and Mandy just said to keep following her and she would explain later. In all honesty Ian didn't think Mandy knew where she was headed or what she was doing, but nevertheless she tugged on his hand and dragged him through the streets of shitty South-side Chicago.

* * *

Mickey had felt sick. Lately it had been the only thing he ever felt. He didn't visit his sister's grave often because all it ever did was remind him of how much of a shitty brother he was. He promised he would take care of her and he couldn't even fucking take care of himself. He yelled as he threw yet another punch to the wall, smashing right through the drywall this time.

That was another thing Mickey felt, anger. He was pissed at Mandy for offing herself. It had always been them against the world, but she left him, and he was sure as fuck allowed to be pissed at her because of that.

A timid knock to the door halted Mickey from putting another blow to the wall. The blank look he had developed since Mandy's death re-appearing onto his face as he headed towards the door. No one had ever come to visit, and when they did they sure as hell didn't knock. So when Mickey opened the door to a complete stranger that was battered and bruised he was confused to say the least.

"The fuck you want?"


	3. Chapter 3

He didn`t know who the boy was or if he was even telling the truth, but regardless he let him in because he said he knew Mandy, and he had a look of desperation in his eyes that reminded Mickey far too much of a younger him. The kid had blood all over his clothes and a nasty gash on the back of his head making his red hair even gruesomely more so.

He did know one thing for sure, the kid was lying about his story, saying he got jumped a couple of blocks back, but Mickey knew what happened when he pushed people too far, and he didn`t care who the person was but he never wanted to go through that again.

"You going somewhere, kid?" Mickey nodded toward the bag he held.

"Ian Gallagher, and ya…uhm..here actually" he said with a reasonable amount of confidence that both shocked and angered Mickey. Why the fuck would this _Gallagher_ think he could just walk in here and think he could stay? Mickey didn't even know the kid.

But then something clicked in his mind, and he figured this must've been his sister's doing because only Mandy could fuck with his life even after she had been buried 6 ft under. So he let Gallagher in and showed him to a room because if Mandy had been willing to help this kid then so would Mickey, because it was the least he could do for his sister. And in some ways helping this guy put a bit of ease to Mickey's guilt, not much, but enough for him to be able to breathe a bit easier.

* * *

After Mickey told Ian to fuck off and figure things out himself, he retreated to his room. He certainly had not been expecting Gallagher to barge in half naked in search of the shower. And he definitely did not expect the smirk on his face after Mickey noticeably checked him out.

Mickey was impressed with his sister's choice of friends because Gallagher was hot, he had defined abs, and arms that made Mickey's dick twitch, but he couldn't deal with this right now. Besides Gallagher had been 'friends' with Mandy meaning he had to of been straight. So he pushed those thoughts aside, like so many times before in his life, and he went back to drowning in his own guilt and misery.

* * *

After Ian had showered and got settled into his new room he decided to roam the house. It was extremely quiet, which had Ian on edge, his home had always been full of life, people were constantly moving and talking, even yelling.

Ian missed his brothers and sisters. But thinking about them made guilt heave heavy in Ian's chest, making him want to curl in a ball and just forget about the world. He had even considered going back there, but he knew that it would be a suicide mission, Frank had promised his death, and he wasn't ready to give up, not yet.

He caught a glimpse of the back of Mickey's head titled up, blowing out smoke. Ian couldn't help but notice the vein in the older boy's neck and the look of contentment as he took a puff of his joint. He was attracted to Mickey, he knew that, but like he said he wasn't ready to participate in any suicide missions, so he would do his best to hide his attraction in hopes of keeping a room in the Milkovich house.

He sat on the ground beside Mickey, back resting against the couch, and like a silent agreement, Mickey handed over the joint. They sat like that for a while, silently passing a joint between the two of them. Ian isn't sure who was the first one to speak, he figured it was him, seeing as he had never been all too comfortable with silence.

They talked of times in their lives when they were carefree, although it had been more of Ian doing the talking and Mickey humming out a reply every so often. Neither of them talked about their families, and if the other brought it up it was quickly squashed with another subject. Because the pain it brought had been far too much for either of them, even when they were this high.

The night came to a close when Mickey almost fell asleep on Ian's shoulder. He quickly shot up, mumbled something about being tired and went to his room. Ian stayed in the living room, far too content to move just yet. Ian was glad Mickey had let him stay, because he trusted Mandy, and he knew that if he stayed here he would be safe, maybe even happy.

* * *

For the first time in his life, Ian wasn't afraid of walking to his room in the middle of the night. Or getting up to use the bathroom. But when Mandy showed up in his room in the middle of the night he was a little startled to say the least.

"Look, Ian, you need to make me a promise alright?"

"Jesus, Mandy, you show up here in the middle of the night, scare the shit out of me, might I add, just so I can make you a promise?"

"Listen, shithead it's important" Ian rubbed at the sleep in his eyes and sat up so he could try and wake himself up a bit more, then nodded at Mandy to continue. "You can't tell Mickey about me being like…this" she paused gesturing toward herself, "not yet, ok?"

"Ok, Mandy, I won't tell him about you"

"Promise." Mandy said sternly, like she had suddenly taken the role of Ian's mother.

He sighed, the bruises on his body caused him discomfort and he could feel himself slipping back into unconsciousness, "I promise."

"Good" she looked notably relieved by Ian's cooperation.

"Why are you here, Mandy? Why are you helping me?" he managed to mumble out before he fell back asleep.

"Because I have some things I need to fix" Mandy whispered to the boy she had managed to take under her wing. Mandy had a lot of mending to do before she could move on with her life. She found it ironic and incredibly annoying how she had killed herself to get out of this world and yet all it did was keep her in it.

She would watch over Ian and keep him safe, because like her brother, he needed saving. And Mandy hoped, that by saving Ian, she would be saving her brother too.

AN: I will be continuing this story on /works/778858/chapters/1466173 sorry for the inconvenience


End file.
